First Address
Reaching for the Light Switch
Thanks for tuning in!
This is an experiment. In the vain of American democracy and manifest destiny. Well, not at all. Still, don’t run away. Let me entertain you with backsliding, jabberdoogy, Positive Capability, feeling for inclusion and resuscitation in the dark. My, the darkness surrounds us, Robert Creeley.
I Know a Man
As I sd to my
friend, because I am
always talking,—John, I
sd, which was not his
name, the darkness sur-
rounds us, what
can we do against
it, or else, shall we &
why not, buy a goddamn big car,
drive, he sd, for
christ’s sake, look
out where yr going.
Are you looking out where you’re going? Ha! I’m swerving, gurgling, tapping my shoes against an ordinary floor. And what do we do against this darkness? This criminal uncertainty of our times — you don’t need me to spell it out for you — is bringing more and more people to their knees. Where there is fear, hope recedes. One way I know to kill the fear in me is to write. This action creates connection within myself and with what is larger than me. My aim is to connect with you through pounding out my thoughts and sharing my ideas about what I’m reading and writing.
Be forewarned: Everything you see here in “Self-Talk is Not My Friend” is from the hip. Everything I write and say in “Self-Talk is Not My Friend” will be practice-based rather than product-based. In this way, it is performative. This will allow me to somewhat exorcise self-judgement and torment (!). I am optimistic that this effort will bring you more of me and less of who I think I should bring you. I’ve come to believe that process, although it makes room for misstep, makes room for choice and self-interrogation. Process is also resistance to what may be seen as the capitalistic endgame. By disconnecting from the ego’s willfulness, we may discover more dangerous and surprising truths in our own internal wilderness. What then?
Beyond this abstract, what exactly should you expect in these writings and in the future videos? If I told you, I would be lying. Not because I don’t know, but because wherever I begin I end up somewhere else.
I promise you that I’ll share poetry and my thoughts about the poems. I might drive you crazy. I might be just what you need.
This is an experiment.
I’m so excited that you’re along for the ride! (But come and go as you like.)
Your friend,
Cynie
Jeff Distefano texted me to say that he couldn't find a way to comment. Well, maybe I have to write one first? I don't think so. Let me know if you get in. I think you can always hit the quote bubble above left. Then you have a place to say what you want. Or maybe once I post this, you can reply where there is the obvious reply button. Hells bells. Someone try it!